I once heard a boy say to a teacher in a school corridor:
"I'm not lying, sir. I just have a vivid imagination".
This spin spurred the teacher's wrath to shouting point. That kind of lying is part of the games pupils play with teachers, to wind them up mercilessly.
However, when a child lies to a parent or teacher, the first question asked should be:
"Why is the child lying?"
The answer is more damning of the adult than the child:
"Because they are afraid to tell you the truth". To simply punish the act of lying is shifting the blame.
The best story I ever heard about lying and how to curb it, comes from the school Summerhill, in Suffolk.
The school had a 15 year old boy who was an inveterate liar. He lied needlessly about all sorts of things, and Neill, the head, was concerned about this habit.
One Friday morning, Neill received a phone call from the boy's father, asking Neill if he could accompany his son to Saxmundham Station that afternoon, for the train to London. He then reassured Neill that he would return his son on the Sunday evening, along with the fare for the return journey - £5. Neill agreed to this arrangement, went to the boy during lunch and repeated his father's wishes, handing the boy £5.
However, after a conversation with his wife, Neill realised that the phone call had been made from a local phone box, the boy impersonating his father to get a weekend in London.
Most heads would summon the boy, force him to confess and then punish him for lying.
Not Neill! He waited until after lunch and then took the boy aside and said:
"Your father just phoned back. He made a mistake with the fare. It's £6, not £5."
And he proceeded to give the boy an extra £1.
Neill walked back to his office. It took about 10 minutes before the boy appeared, slammed the £6 on Neill's desk and said:
"You're a better bloody actor than I am!".
As a sad footnote, I have to report the death of John Morris, the wonderful teacher I gave a birthday tribute to on this blog, on June 29th. I am honoured that his son has included my post on the tributes online.
Following on from last week's post about good teachers, if anyone wants to see just how effective an excellent teacher can be, please click on the following website:
http://www.johnsmorris.net/tributes.php#top
My late uncle Fred Coleridge was a teacher at a boarding school. One day, one of his pupils slipped off to the races at Ascot and found himself standing right next to my uncle, who was his housemaster. “Ah,” said the boy, with some presence of mind, “how is my twin brother Jeremy who is in your house?” “He is very well,” came the reply. “Please give him my regards,” said the boy.
ReplyDeleteOn his rounds that night, my uncle Fred came into the boy’s room and said: “I saw your twin brother at the races today. I don’t ever want to see him there again.”